So conversation seems to be quite important here. Because through conversation I get possibilities for design. And that answers question (1): WHAT ARE WE DESIGNING FOR? We're designing for conversation.
Now we're into question (2): HOW DO WE DESIGN FOR CONVERSATION? My claim is that conversation is a cybernetic system. Cybernetics is a term that comes from the Greek word for "steering" or, more specifically, "the art of steering". We have goals and perform actions to head toward those goals. Information from the environment becomes "feed back" that we use to see the discrepancy between current state and desired state. We change our actions to "get back on course" toward the goal.
A better understanding of conversation comes from the acronym, CLEAT:
Context—the moment it begins, or a shared frame.
Language—shared terminology and conventions.
Exchange—the back-and-forth, give-and-take of dialog.
Agreement—establishing shared viewpoints.
Transaction—taking action, based on our agreement.
Conversational traction, CLEAT.
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